Darren Criss as Babar!

Last Friday Night

Four in the afternoon on a Saturday and I haven't started my huge mound of homework. I actually woke up around 12, so I haven't been up for very long. I was/am just so tired from being out last night, 'cause it was a few Halloween Parties!



I had quite a bit of fun. I ended up going to my roommates to Eurotrance. We had less than an hour of fun there though because Jane was taking forever to get ready. Cathy wasn't feeling all that well, so she didn't want to stay long anyway.

Oh! Before Euro, I went to see Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 again. They were showing it on my campus before it comes out on DVD in 13 days! So excited. I'll play that movie over and over again until my DVD player fries.

Back to the parties, so after Eurotrance, we went back to our dorm because I need to grab my wings (I was little Red Riding Hood at Euro, and then the angel form of little Red at the "Heaven or Hell Party") and Jane needed to put on her fox costume. Took her forever! She didn't even have that much to put on but she was like "Oh, I'm not sure I wanna go..I need to go to the bathroom...I don't like this shirt, I'll put this one on..." Gah!

We finally get to the faternity house and I go up the stairs but when I turn around, she's missing. She didn't come inside. I waited a few minutes but I was like, screw it, I want to have fun. If she wants to stand in the cold talking to someone by all means. I met up with some of my friends and we found more of our friends and started dancing. I saw Jane maybe 15 minutes later, finally inside talking to the same dude from outside.

I had a lot of fun with my friends. I danced with one of my guy friends who we all call "Jolee". Not grind-dancing. Just holding hands and moving to the beat. Loads of fun, danced for at least an hour. I normally don't dance enough to sweat, but this time I did. Had fun with the girls too. Watched a bunch of drunk people. I couldn't go downstairs to "Hell" because multiple people puked on or near the stairs. That's alright, I had a great time in "Heaven".

The only regret I have is that I didn't ask this one guy to dance. He had door duty the first hour or so of the party but after that, I saw him popping his head into the dance floor at least 20 times. I finally got the nerve to go up to him but before I could, a couple of guys caught him first and they were rough-housing. So, I chickened out. I'm tempted to tell him I wanted to dance with him that night and that I'd love to hang out, maybe grab some lunch or just study together. Does that sound alright?

I've never talked to him before. We had a class together last year but still no communicating. Do you think I should ask him to a casual get-together?

A Question for Thursday

I'm trying to get back on track on my "Tell Me Something Thursday" idea. Since I don't get any questions from people, I guess I'll just go on google and look at a list of random questions.

**Searching...Searching...Searching...**

What advice would you give to your 16 year old self?

The real question is "What advice would you give yourself three years ago" and I was 16 so here we go. I'd tell myself to stop thinking about him so much. It was over before it began, there's nothing you can do. He was as committed as he said he would be and it's not your fault.

Write more. I know you're writing now but you still have so much free time and you can be using that to get more ahead into your novel.

Be more involved in school. You're going to join more things senior year, but try starting now. You'll find out what you're really interested in, meet more people and probably make better friends. Because we both know that most of the "friends" you have now aren't really your friends.

Get a job outside the daycare. Yeah, it's fun and everything, but you need to step out and try to find a job on your own. You can't rely on mom all the time.

Believe in yourself. You need to gain more confidence. You need to believe that you are worth something, that you're loved, and that you have a purpose in life. Maybe if you believe it now. You'll believe it 3 years in the future.

Vacuum

So we need to vacuum in this room again. And I refuse to do it. I've vacuumed and cleaned this room twice now. It's time for them to do something. Especially because it's Jane that doesn't know how to freakin' eat around here. I watched her as she walked around eating some hard bread, so of course every time she took a bite, huge pieces would hit the floor.

She was eating one of the tacos I bought, dropped lettuce and meat on the carpet. I told her she dropped it. Now, every time she drops food I'm going to tell her about herself.

But like I said. I'm not vacuuming. When I said that we needed to, she's like "Not today. You can vacuum tomorrow."

"Me?!"

"Well, I have to study for my test tomorrow" she said, "That's what I've been doing all day. I can vacuum tomorrow after I get out of class at 6pm."

I don't give a flying hoot what time, as long as it gets done. It's nasty. One of my friends came over and said it herself. I agree with her. I hate walking in here because every time I have to get on my bed I have to check and pull off pieces of hair THAT DO NOT BELONG TO ME off my socks. It's disgusting.

So...one of them needs to vaccum. I'm not doing it.

Oh No

I have a problem with my tuition. Last year my mom and I did it right. I know for sure. We divided the amount by 10 because we had to make 10 payments for the whole year. This year, I did it. I divided by 10, been paying every month, and now all of a sudden I need to pay $1,800 dollars by the end of this month?! If I don't, I can't sign up for classes November 7th.

I don't understand. They said that the bill is for each semester, but that makes no sense. That's not how it was last year and they didn't say anything changed. I did the exact same thing as last year. I don't have all of that right now. I'm about $300 or so short. I know my mom doesn't have that.

If this is the case, I have to pay another $3,000 next semester. I work but I only make $1200 a semester. There's no way I can do this. I'm fucking screwed.

Weekend Over, Paper Finished

End of another weekend. Technically it's Monday right now but the sun is not out! So I'm calling it Sunday. Anywho, I just finished writing that sociology midterm paper that's due Monday, about an hour ago. I'm going to edit it after my english class tomorrow and then print. I still have to read about 70 pages before 11am. Ughh...I don't think I'll be getting much sleep. And I have a 8:30am class?!

I watched so many movies today. It was basically a Tim Burton marathon. I watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Nightmare Before Christmas, Corpse Bride, Coraline, Beetlejuice, and now I'm watching the last Pirates of the Carribean film. So it's a Tim Burton/Johnny Depp Sunday (with a few randoms in there). Have to give a major thanks to ABC Family for this.

Right now, I'm not as stressed as I was for the past week. I'm hoping this weekend will be better. I don't have anymore major papers due. I do have a response paper but that's less than a page. I can do that. I met with my advisor and I have another meeting with him on Tuesday. I need to plan out my schedule for the rest of my college years so we can talk about it. Plus, he was my English professor for poetry last year and I asked him if he wouldn't mind looking at some poems I want to submit for my school's literary magazine. I tried last year but none of mine got in. I gave him the one that makes me cry every time I read it, plus this one I made about my roommates. I will not be submitting that one though. No chance.

I feel like there was more I wanted to write. Oh! I've missed a few Thursdays lately. I know and I'm sorry. The past two weeks have just been crazy. It will change this week. Hmm...well this coming weekend is going to be Halloween weekend so: parties! I'm going to two on Friday, dressed as Little Red Riding Hood at the first and a dead/angel version of Little Red Riding Hood to the "Heaven and Hell Party". It shall be fun. At least I hope.

Midterm Paper

Working on a midterm paper that's due Friday. I really don't want to do this. I rather be watching some of the Korean soap operas that I've been looking at (Playful Kiss and Boys Over Flowers). I bought the Lake House at Walgreens today. I rather watch that right now.

I have to write a 2 page paper for each essay, and I have two essays (yay) for my sociology class. Right now I'm focusing on the globalization aspect of sexual tourism on women and men. Ughh...I'm just not feeling this. I don't want to write it. But it's due in less than 48 hours!

Maybe I'll take a little break now, and continue. I think that's my best option right now.

Tumblr Prom

Just heard about Tumblr Prom. I think it’s a fun idea for people. I probably won’t do it (because no one will ask me! Tears) but that’s fine. It’s a way for everyone to have fun! I don’t understand why some people are being all mean and harsh about it.

Anywho, here’s an old video of Glee guys talking about prom. Enjoy!

Not Again Please

While changing my sheets on my bed, I found a spider.





In my bed! The fucker was under my comforter! I can't sleep now. I can't even lay in it. There's been too many spiders in this room and I can't handle it anymore. I literally cried for an hour after finding it. I texted my roommate Jane and told her (she's not a fan of spiders either but she's not as bad as I am). Her bed is right under mine and she's worried there might be some in her bed. I know there's a web on her suitcase under her bed.

It's gotten ridiculous. I'm probably going to tell the RA in the morning because I can't live like this....In my bed! How long had it been in there?! I had been laying in my bed all day today! What if I hadn't changed my sheets tonight and waited until the morning...I would have been sleeping with that thing!

I'm not going to sleep. I can't. I just can't. If there's anyone else up, please help keep me awake. I'm probably going to watch comedy central and glee DVDs all night. Wish me luck!

Writing Today

I've written something today that has me crying every time I read it. A poem I guess. At least, I call it a poem. Maybe not. It's just my thoughts down on a piece of paper. I don't really know. All I know is, I never thought this is what I felt all this time. I just sat and wrote what was on my mind and...I really don't know what to say. But I'm afraid to share it with anyone. Even here. I'm just so confused right now.

Awesome Weekend Coming Up!

I was going to make another post about how annoying Jane is being at the moment BUT....She's going home this weekend! Thursday afternoon to be exact. And then Cathy is going home on Friday so I'll have the room to myself for an awesome weekend!

Fed Up Some More

I'm glad that I found out that I did that stupid philosophy layout wrong. That means you got it wrong too, since you copied everything I wrote. She didn't even read the article. She just asked what I wrote and tried to rewrite it in her own words.

And they finally cleaned!



Thank you Cheesus! They only cleaned their crap because Janet's friends are coming this weekend. And they keep saying they need a vaccumm because the floor is gross. Yes, yes it is. Who's fault is that? The art major who leaves scraps of paper everywhere (Cathy) and the lazy bio/pre-pharmacy major who doesn't know how to eat properly (Jane). Yeah that's right!

I have pictures of how it looked before. If you wanna see, let me know by sending a message or liking my post. I don't mind sharing. It's ridiculous. There's still rotting apples in front of me and an old napkin with this wrapper from bred Jane ate a week ago, sitting in front of me. I refuse to clean it. And I refuse to get the vaccumm again. They both really don't want to do anything and I'm not going to be their maid.

I refuse.

Do Your Own Work

She says that I wasn't alright today. My roommate I mean. Of course I wasn't. You've been bugging the hell out of me about this assignment that we need to do (not a partner project. Separate assignments that we both have because we have the same class but at a different time).

She keeps saying, "Hey let me know when you're working on it so we can work together."

and, "I find this homework pointless. I need to study for organic chemistry, so we should work together so we can get this done faster."

Then you want to "work together" when you haven't even read the required pages to fucking do the assignment. I think not. I told her to go read it. I guess that was her first sign that I wasn't doing okay.

I come back from a poetry slam (awesome by the way. With special guest Tim Stafford. Look him up on youtube/google) and go back to working. Here she comes again.

"I worked on it but I still have no idea what to do. Have you worked on it?"
"Yeah," I said, "I think I'm about done."

"Oh, can you look over mine and see if it's right."

"I don't know. I'm not even sure mine is right." I said.

"That's okay. I'd just like it if you read over mine. Tell me what's wrong."

I blew it. I told her I can't fix hers if I can't fix my own. I didn't swear or anything. My voice elevated. She asked if I was okay. No I'm not okay. Everytime we have these assignments, you basically try to make me do the whole damn thing. I don't need nor want to be used.

But I didn't say that. I told her I had a headache.

You're Joking Right?

I was on the phone with my mom when I decided to wash my sweaters/hoodies and I said, out loud, "Gonna go check to see if the washers are open". Then I left my dorm room, leaving my two roommates inside. I go to the basement and find all three are open. I'm happy because I just want to use two and hang my clothes to dry. When I'm walking back, I see one of my roommates walking towards me, I wave and continue talking to my mom.

I enter the room, grab my sweaters and just as I'm about to leave, she returns and says "They're all free!" Why do I see them both going into their wardrobs and grab their completely-full-overflowing-don't-you-wash-more-than-once-a-month laundry baskets and start separting their clothes.

"Umm...I'm going to need one too." I say. They look at me funny. And then one says:

"One of us needs to go down there to make sure no one else grabs the washers."

I volunteered because one, I was already ready. And two, I wasn't going to let them take the washers from me. I decided to be nice and just use one. I put my clothes in, wait until their slow asses come downstairs and go back to the room. I'm still on the phone with my mom (she heard me complain while I was in the basement).

I'm sitting in front of my laptop, just got off the phone with her when one of them comes in and says:

"You can use the washer when we're done."

....What?

"I'm already using one. When those stop, I'll put my other load in." I said.

"Oh I didn't know who's clothes those were."

Really...Why do you think I went down there for? Do you think I went to save the washers for you?! What the hell...

Need To Express Myself

I think I missed a Thursday and that's because this week has been chaotic. I'm so happy it's Friday, well when I'm done writing it will technically be Saturday morning.

I didn't get to mention that I have an appointment to see a counselor this coming Tuesday. I think I just need someone to talk to. I'm not sure if it's my roommates anymore. Maybe I'm overwhelmed or maybe there's something wrong. There's the possibility that it's a combination of all three. I don't know and that's why I'm going to talk to someone. My mom agrees. She's the one who said I should at least get some advice on how to deal with all the negativity that my roommates have on a daily basis. Hopefully this will help me and I'll be able to have a better year.

Writing on here has helped. It gives me a chance to unwind and let off some steam, but I can't be as open as I really want. I had another blog, but a few friends found it so I had to make this one. I'm afraid they'll find it again. That's why I'm using a penname and aliases for everyone I mention on here. But I'm always worried that one of them will find it. I don't want them reading my personal thoughts. My tumblr and this blog have basically become my diary but a diary that I allow strangers to read and comment on. Not people I know in real life.

Does anyone else get what I'm saying? It's easier to talk to strangers than people you know.

Well, I'm actually at work right now. I work in my residential hall as a desk aide. I don't really do anything. I was actually watching a Korean soap opera before I came on here. I think I'll watch another episode. Until next time.