Wizard's Duel

I beat someone in a wizard's duel by one point. 

 

You were a worthy opponent and I wish you well my fellow wizard!

Should I be Upset or No?

You see, I’ve had this crush on this guy since the beginning of this school year. Problem is, I rarely see him. I had a class with him last year and then…the end. I only see him around campus or at the fraternity he’s a part of.

I told my roommate Jane about him last year, and she asked if I still liked him this year and I said yes. She has liked this other guy who is also part of the same fraternity as Kevin (the guy I like. Also, I changed his name) since beginning of May. She has classes with Kevin and next semester a majority of her classes will be with him. A month or so ago, she said she was giving up on the guy she likes and focusing more on Kevin.

I’m upset because she knows I like him. She even convinced me to ask him to dance once at a party (didn’t get the chance ‘cause he didn’t show up until the party was basically over). And now she wants to go out with him?

Then again, do I really have a shot? I don’t have opportunities to talk to him, and Jane has and seems to like him now. I’m just really confused, and I want to know if I have the right to be upset, even though I barely know the guy…

So, if anyone reads this, I’d really appreciate it for a comment or two. Even if it’s a “You’re stupid.” At least I’ll have some sort of opinion on this.

Bucket List or Random Facts?

Should I do a list of what’s on my bucket list, or should I make a list of random facts about me?

I’m not sure which one I should do. Any advice? Or do any of you, my lovely followers, have a preference?

(P.S. I'm going to make like 3-4 posts in a row. I made these over the course of the day Tuesday on tumblr, but forgot to post them here. So...yeah...)

Glee Lovers Everywhere

Was on omegle for the first time in forever, and had a long chat with this person "Drew" about Glee. Made my night.




Also talking to one of my friends on the phone while she's on omegle. She's been having some pretty interesting conversations haha

Say Yes to the Dress

I'm watching Say Yes to the Dress right now. Love this show and seeing all the pretty dresses. What surprises me is that, yes I do think about my own future wedding, but what I really think about when I watch this show is:

"I can't wait to see my friends/cousins get married. I hope they let me help them pick out the dress. I hope I'm a bride's maid. What if I'm the maid of honor?! Oh that's a lot of responsibility but I love them, so I'll do whatever I can!"

Is that strange? Don't get me wrong, I do imagine what my wedding dress could look like, but I always seem to think about other people's weddings. I think I just want to go or be part of a wedding. It's so beautiful and it represents so much. I imagine I'll be crying the whole time.

Just thought I'd share that.

(P.S. I didn't mention that I'm home for winter break. First semester and finals are over! Yaaay!)

Hold on to Sixteen: Glee Review

Alright here are my thoughts on tonight's Glee episode.

• Sam's return to glee-Really confused why Finn thought they needed him to be there. Don't get me wrong, I love Sam, but they could have brought him back to McKinley in a different fashion.
• Blaine/Sam drama- NOT COOL. I think Blaine was way out of line on that one, and there was nothing to show that Blaine and Sam are okay now. By the way, how did Blaine know about Sam being a stripper? My only guess is that Rachel told Kurt because she can't hold water, and Kurt told Blaine because Kurt tells Blaine everything. Still, I think what Blaine said was wrong. I love him, but that was wrong.
• Blaine/Finn drama-Ughh...I expected more. That confrontation was really weak and I think Blaine gave in too early. I mean, Finn didn't even say he was sorry for Christ's sake! I wanted them to be friends, but I feel like...after episodes of tension...they could have done something better than that.
• Quinn- Finally, she's grown up! I've been waiting for her to realize that what she was doing was wrong. Her change of heart at the end was nice, a little "Woah, that's a huge change" but it was nice.
• Samcedes- I'm a fan. I'm hoping it will pull through. Not much to say on that one.
• Tina/Mike- Thank you for finally having Mr. Chang see the light! Mike Chang is amazing and everyone should know it. Tina, you are a goddess for making Mr. Chang see the light. I'm glad you finally got to sing. I hope they use your character more often. Again, love Mike Chang and Tina.

The performances were great. I loved them all. I do think I liked the Trouble Tone's performance better than New Directions, but hey, I'm glad they all go together at the end. The ending song "We Are Young" was perfect. Overall, it was a good show. Just...Blaine's parts threw me off.

Oh, I am happy to see some character development with him: boxing because he wanted to defend himself after the bullies, creating the fight club. Interesting...Wait, did he make the fight club when he was a freshman?! Cause I have a feeling it wasn't while he was a sophomore. RIB, did you think this through?

This is another Glee Review. Ella signing out!

P.S. Forgot to mention: I wanna punch Sebastian in the face. I <3 Klaine with a passion. Bye!

Friday is a Fun-Day

Today has been a pretty good day. I really had only one class and that was listening to presentations. I did my presentation on Monday. Then my second class was optional but I went anyway to learn about what was going to be on the final. Class lasted less than fifteen minutes.

Afterwards I made some really good brownies and gave some to my friends. I hung out with two of them in another dorm and then went to eat with a few. We ended up staying the DugOut area trying the Sudoku puzzles in the campus newspaper. We were so goofy, and I loved it. I love hanging out with them. Then we came back to my room, set up the gamecube, played some Mario Kart and now we have the Wii set up playing Brawl. I played for a bit but now I'm here at work. It's okay, I enjoyed my night with my friends.

The only downside was that we were supposed to be playing the wii/gamecube starting around four when I was making the brownies but since we were going to use Cathy's tv (which is on Jane's desk) we had to wait until Jane cleaned her area before we could set anything up. She didn't show up until almost seven o'clock. I think Cathy was upset and so was I, but it let me hang out with my friends so I'm okay that it was delayed.

But today is my fun day. It was my last day of classes. Everything is turned in and now I only have two finals: Wednesday and Thursday. Then I'm on the bus home on Thursday afternoon. I'll start studying for my Thursday test (the only one I can study for) tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Glee Review

Another episode of Glee has passed. I'm not spoiler free, so if you haven't seen it or the promo for next week, you might want to skip this post =)

I'll give you a bit of time to decide.

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Good? Alright....AHHHH! Oh my God! So much stuff going on my brain can't handle it. The elections with Hummel v. Slyvester and Hummel v. Pierce. Too much, too much. And only one Hummel one! Poor Kurt. I was surprised he thought about cheating in the election. I read spoilers and at first I didn't believe but then Rachel did it. She stuffed the ballot box. Ruined chances for Kurt and probably herself. Now she has a spot on her permanent record and she's not competing in sectionals?! Holy Neptune.

Then Sue and the man (the dude who has been "dating" Coach Beiste. I haven't remembered his name yet). I can't believe that happened! Sue ruined that relationship...well, Beiste wasn't really helping the situation either, and the poor man was confused. I'm glad Beiste was able to express her feelings in the end but now she's competing against Sue. Soooo much drama there.

Puck had sex with Rachel's mom?! I still can't see why he isn't grossed out by that. I mean, he made out with Rachel...now he's trying to be with her mom? I don't know. And he told Quinn?! He's soo stupid. Doesn't he know she's still crazy and will use that information to show that she's an unfit mother?! She had sex with a student!

Lastly, Santana. I've always loved her, and I love her even more. She's just had it so rough lately. And Finn is trying to help in the only way he can. I give him props for that but I still hate his guts. Santana and her abuela (grandma if you don't know Spanish), that was heartbreaking. I just kept thinking "please accept her please!" She's a strong woman though and she has people who love her for her, so I know she'll make it through everything. She better!

Now for the promo: THANK GOD BLAINE! He's finally confronting Finn on his stupid behavior. No Rachel in sectionals. And....Sam?!? I knew you were coming back but what are you doing?! I never saw that coming. This is going to be a fantastic episode. Until next week this is your Glee Review. Ella signing out!

Man, I'm a few lines away from being halfway done with this paper. Gosh! I don't feel like doing it, especially at four in the morning. I think I'll go to sleep now and wake up at eight. Continue from there. First, I'll make it so I'm on page five...I'll feel more accomplished. I shouldn't have procrastinated this badly. I should have at least read the rest of my articles yesterday or something. My eyes are burning.

I'm going back to campus tomorrow...in like 12ish hours...I don't want to go back. It's just one week of classes and then three days of finals. I come back home on the eighth. I think it's so stupid that I come back for less than two weeks. Why don't we have finals before Thanksgiving and then we get out then and stay out until January? I think that sounds a lot better. I wouldn't mind it.

Need sleep. Sleep sleep sleep. Been listening to classical/violin orchestra music for the past *checks time* eight hours. Holy cheesus! And I don't think any of the songs repeated.

Hmm my mom wants to go to this jewlery shop in the morning...a few hours from now. I have this key necklace but it's not sterling silver so it turned after having it for a few years. So, I've been meaning to buy one that is sterling but kept forgetting. My mom remembered and wanted it to be a surprise/christmas gift but she doesn't know which one I would like. We were looking at a bunch online from macys, kohls, jcpenny, and others. Laughing and horrid looking ones and just enjoying ourselves. Then she told me about this store, so we might go tomorrow. Not sure.

She asked if I wanted to see the Twilight movie today...yesterday? I said I did, but I needed to finish my homework. She would have just dropped me off. She hasn't seen any of the films. I guess I'll wait until after finals when I come home. No one on campus will want to see it with me, and I don't have any friends at home so no asking there. I'll just go by myself like I did with the Glee movie. I don't mind.

My eyes are watering...or bleeding...who knows. I've been staring at a screen and packets of paper for far too long. I wanna watch Merlin. Can't watch Merlin. Probably won't until after finals. How horrid. No, I'll watch next Monday. It's reading day so no classes...yay...maybe I should stop rambling? Yeah...I'll do that.

Research Research Research

My 8-10 page paper is due Monday and I'm still not done reading all the articles I found. I really want to do this:


But I also have a presentation on said paper on that said Monday.

Merlin Episode Reactions

I started season 4 of Merlin yesterday and I'm three episodes in. Here are my ending reactions for the episodes:

4x01:




4x02:





4x03:





I can't even...episode 4x03, my goodness. I've been waiting for it..but I didn't expect it in THAT way. I'm mean, and right after episode 4x02!?!? I want to explain it all but...you know what, I'll just put this here:

***************SPOILERS: READ IF YOU DARE**************

I was bawling my eyes out for Lancelot! I wasn't a huge fan of him. From the beginning I wanted Gwen and Arthur (of course I really want Merthur, but can't have everything in life), and I know enough about the Arthurian legends to know Lancelot causes problems. So when he showed up, I instantly hated him. Then I realized he was the sweetest and most loyal human being on the show and I couldn't hate him! But I didn't want him with Gwen. The fact that he knew Merlin's secret, it made me happy because now Merlin had someone else to talk to besides Gaius.

And then the end of season three, Lancelot and the others become knights. I was so happy! Now Lancelot is really around to help Merlin and I get to see his gorgeous face (He looks like a younger version of Ioan Gruffudd who plays Lancelot in the 2004 film King Arthur with Clive Owen). I like the relationship between Lancelot and Merlin, it's not as beautiful as Gwaine and Merlin, and definitely not as beautiful as Merthur, but it's still enjoyable. And in episode 4x03 they freakin' killed him. They killed him! Right after I finally started to love him, they took him away from me! How could they do that! I cried so hard it was like when I thought Gaius had died at the end of season one. This show will be the death of me. I can see it now.

I Love Gwaine

Didn't realize how much I loved Gwaine until I saw episode 3x11. Hahaha I love the friendship between Gwaine and Merlin. It's not as strong as Merthur, but it's still lovely.





And the interaction between Merlin, Gwaine, and Arthur is wonderfully hilarious.

Thanksgiving

So I was in the city from Wednesday to about a few hours ago, and I didn't have my laptop. Which means....I wasn't able to say Happy Thanksgiving a lot earlier!



So HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

Random

Got out of class 30 minutes early! Amazingness!

If only I didn't have to watch a movie for my English class and go to said English class tomorrow morning....I could have gone home tonight!

Talking 'til 4am

Last night during work one of my friends and her roommate came to visit me. It was hilarious. They always bring a smile to my face. I got off work at 1am and then my RA came and started talking to us. Basically, we sat outside my RA's room in a circle talking until 4 in the morning, and it was relaxing. Thanks girls!

Silent Treatment from the Roommate: It Begins

I wanted to make sure I was right before I posted this. Took a few hours but it's official: I pissed off my roommate Jane!



Today our argument layout for our philosophy class was due. Keep in mind, this is not a group project and even though we have the same class/professor, it's not at the same time.

Anywho, I looked at this assignment ahead of time and I wrote it Wednesday night and sent it to my professor Thursday morning to look over it. Jane wants to start working on it at 10pm Thursday night. She doesn't even read the section of the article before she goes:

"Oh my God, I don't understand this!...What is he even talking about?....I don't know what I'm supposed to do....What did you do?"

Automatically, I'm pissed. Don't ask for help if you haven't read it. And you're not even asking for help! She does this every time and then basically copies what I already did. So I didn't tell her. I said that I didn't know what I was doing and that I just did blah blah blah and sent it to the professor.

"Oh...What did she say?"

"I don't know. I haven't checked my email. I'm working on my English paper." I said.

5-7 minutes later.

"Have you checked your email?"

No! It's not my fault you have not done your homework. It's not my fault that you waited until the last minute to do it. I did mine. I'm working on something else. Don't try to take up my time with your crap.



I check my email cause she asks again (ahhh!). The professor told me to change a few things. I didn't tell Jane everything. I told her that the argument layout only needs two premises for the conclusion. Why the hell does she walk over and reads over my shoulder to look at my email?

"Oh...What's your conclusion?"

Do your own work! You still haven't read the stupid article! I didn't tell her my conclusion. I told her it was something to do with the last paragraph. I go back to my paper and in the corner of my eye I see her rocking back and forth staring at the article on her laptop going:

"What the hell am I supposed to do?....I have like 10 premises...I'm going to fail...This is stupid. I don't have time for this."

I ignored her. I finished my paper, my readings, and then fixed my argument layout and went to sleep around 1:15am. Since then she hasn't spoken a word to me. She'll talk to Cathy and invite her to go to dinner with her. She just invited her to the Howie Day concert that's going to happen in about 30 minutes.



She can give me the silent treatment all she wants. I stood my ground. I'm not allowing you to copy all my hardwork anymore. If that means no more talking to you, that's fine with me.

Finished Season Two of Merlin!

That was a good one. I can't even express how...Colin Morgan you are beyond amazing. I shall start season three tonight.

MIA Explanation...plus it's Thursday

So I've been missing for a few days and I have some very reasonable explanations. Number One: I'm sick. I've had a sore/scratchy throat for a couple days now but on Tuesday I woke up with coughing, sneezing, and a bit of a runny nose. Sorry for the details (not really). Anywho, I haven't been feeling up to typing. I've been on tumblr though, just catching up on people that I follow.

Reason number two: Exam and a huge paper. My paper is due tomorrow and I'm only halfway done. Gah! I shouldn't have procrastinated but that's part of the job description of being a college student...well, any sort of student really.

Reason three: Trying to stay away from obessessive Humans Vs. Zombies players. Oh my grilled cheesus, they've been ridiculous. I was a zombie (became a corpse Wednesday morning) and I was threatened at every time I went outside by a bunch of random humans. I wasn't even looking to tag anyone! I just wanted to go to my room or go to the dugout to get food! Humans have been dragged out of safe zones, people have been knocking their books out of their arms so someone can come from behind and push-the-hell-out-of-them/tag them, and it had gotten to the point that I didn't want to play anymore. So I didn't. Tuesday I decided to "starve myself to death" and so I died at 3am on Wednesday. It gave me such a relief knowing that I wasn't going to be attacked by over paranoid humans.

Those are basically it. I have one more episode of season two of Merlin to watch, which I'm hoping to look at around 4pm today. I finally watched the Mash-Off episode of Glee yesterday. I almost cried for Santana. That's all I'll say if others haven't seen it yet.

Funny Poetry About Sex

Must finish philosophy homework before watching Merlin! Gah, but who wants to read an entire article about torture? I sure don't.



Anywho, I'm still alive for Humans vs. Zombies. Got a guy I know since last year, but he's not planning on playing as a zombie so I really just helped him quit the game. Works for me though! And I saved a couple of my friends.

I just came back from a meeting of the literary magazine of the college I go to. I submitted a few poems and once again they've all been shot down. I was hoping we would talk about it but since they didn't even get enough votes for Round One, we didn't discuss. I was really hoping to find out why they didn't like my poems. I was confused on what they were looking for, what they find interesting...until today. Apparently, the ones that get an automatic yes (have enough votes to surpass the rounds and just gets put into the book without discussion) are the funny ones, the ones about sex, the ones about penises, the ones that are funny and about penises, and the super philosophical ones.



I don't write any of those types of poems. I don't think I ever will. I might try a "philosophical" one but it's just not my style. I feel like I'll never be able to get my poems in the book because I don't write what the board finds interesting. I'm not funny. Plain and simple. I don't and won't write about penises. I might write about sex but it will probably not be obvious or what I'm writing about will symbolize sex. I don't know.

I submitted ones about love, an imagery poem about a fallen angel being trapped, and something else that right now I can't remember. But the ones I mentioned were my favorite and I thought they would like. But apparently not.

I'm not going to give up though. Just because they don't like it doesn't mean others don't either. But this constant rejection from not only the literary magazine but life in general is really getting me down.

Saturday: Zombies Continue

I noticed I forgot to mention class registration. That was a week or so ago. Remember that sociology class, History of Social Thought? Yeah, I didn't get in but neither did Jane. I'm not sharing any classes with her either so yay for that! I just don't have time for people copying my work. What classes I am taking are Writing Fiction, Seminar on Creative Writing: Poetry, Social Statistics, and Romantic Literature. Plus two PE courses of bowling and social dance. It's going to be a busy semester come January.

Now to today: With me being a zombie I have to feed/tag someone at least every 30 hours or I die of starvation and become a corpse. I ended up tagging one of my friends so I have until tomorrow at 8pm before I'm dead. You can join a pack of zombies and share your kills so if one of my friends gets someone they'll share with me and I'll stay alive a bit longer, and vice versa. It's hilarious though. Everyone is running and screaming. We cornered this one guy but we were going to let him go 'cause he just wanted to eat dinner but another zombie came behind him and tagged him. Poor kid.

Went to see the movie Friends with Benefits, which they were showing here on campus. It was a pretty good movie. I enjoyed it. Made me wonder would I be willing to do that and I realized no. Even if it wasn't sex, like I just made out with the guy, I still don't think I would do it. I would probably become emotionally attached. No, I know I would.

Is it sad that I consider it? But I don't want just the physical. I actually do want to be in a real relationship. I've never been in a relationship, or been on a date. I feel kind of pathetic really. I don't understand what's wrong with me. One guy in high school said he had doubts or whatever, and the one here in college freshman year wasn't over his ex. But if you're not over her, why come to me? And then the guys I'm attracted to because of their personality and looks, they want nothing to do with me. Actually, they end up liking one of my friends. She is literally boy crazy. Every time she thinks a guy is cute, she'll go into stalker mode and obsesses about him for weeks. Then she'll find another guy she likes and it continues. It annoys me, but I'd never say that.

I just...I want to meet a guy who likes to hang out with me, just chat, watch movies, just everyday stuff, even study together. I'd like to cuddle on the couch while we watch Pirates of the Caribbean or Harry Potter. I'd like to be able to look at him and he'll give me his goofy smile and I can't help but smile back. I'd like to know everything I could possibly know about him and he about me. I'd like him to trust me with his secrets and dreams, and I'd like to share my dreams with him. Is that too much?

Zombie Dance

I missed another Thursday but I have legit reasons. Also, I wanted to post yesterday but I ended up going to a party last night, so I have much to say on that. Plus, I need to tell you about tonight (no party). There's just so much that I feel like I'll post twice: one for Thursday/Friday and one for Saturday (today). Here goes the first ones:

Thursday I was super busy writing my English paper which has now been extended to Monday. Hooray! I feel like my paper sucks because I went in to talk to the professor about it on Wednesday and she told me that it seemed like I didn't have anything to say, and that it was "high school style" because it was only 5 paragraphs. I didn't plan on it being 5 paragraphs. Anywho, I rewrote it that night, sent her my ideas on it, and then went to the writing center on Thursday for editing and such. Then I get the email that at least 3 students are rewriting and she was giving us until Monday to finish it. It makes me wonder if she thinks my new paper is horrid too.

Friday I ended up not going to my sociology class. I was so tired from reading and writing the paper Thursday night that I overslept. I did go to my philosophy class. Oh! On my campus we're playing Humans vs. Zombies. We just started Friday morning. I stayed a human for 8 hours. It was terrible! I survived going to philosophy but after I came out, a girl ran across the quad towards me and I threw a sock at her, stunning her. But when I went through the halls to my dorm, a kid came out of the stairwell and tagged me. Gah! I was so upset! One of my friends was tagged way before me, so we decided to go human hunting together. I got my first "kill" today by getting one of my friends. Oh, I'll talk about that in my next post.

Friday night...Last friday night yeah we danced on table tops...Well, I didn't. I saw some other people do it. I went to a frat party. One of my friends is a pledge and it was a party celebrating all the new pledges so I went to support and to have some fun. I get there, it's more of a drinking party than a dancing party. A majoriy of my friends who went were paired off in couples and drunk off their minds. I don't drink, don't see the point, so I was a bit annoyed and didn't really want to be around a bunch of people. I was planning on leaving but one of my non-drunk friends asked me to go dance with her upstairs cause she didn't want to dance alone. I went. Danced a bit.

Long story short: dealt with a bunch of drunks, danced with a random person I didn't know for about 2 minutes then we were separated, asked a guy I liked to dance but he was too tired from wrestling with one of his "brothers" to dance, the other guy I really really wanted to dance with had guard duty..again, met a nice guy named Bobby who's a psych major and vice-pres of the martial arts club here (he's pretty cool. Didn't talk long. I know my zombie friend made him go dance with me), and had to watch as Jane danced with Steve again for like an hour or so until 3 in the morning and I didn't want to stay any longer so I took my drunk zombie friend back to his dorm while Jane stayed with Steve and one of my friends.

All in all, not a good night. I didn't really want to be there. I wanted to leave after the first 15 minutes. I ended up staying for 4 hours. 4 hours of depression.

If you want to read about today's happenings, give me a minute to type. Please and thank you!

Season Finales Always Get Me

I just finished season one of Merlin. I started crying ten minutes into the last episode.

And never stopped.

Good Mood Down the Toilet

Holy Fuck Shit!

There goes my good mood. Jane, one of my roommates, just came up to me asking if I was taking the sociology class "History for Social Thought". I'm pretty sure (no, a hundred percent sure) she knows I'm planning on it since it is a required class for one my majors.

Well now her ass wants to take it. I don't want to take another class with her. She doesn't do work, and she thinks all of these other classes are not important enough like her science classes. She'll be wanting to see/read what I have, work with me, and I'm not doing that again! I'm not doing her work for another semester. I refuse.

When I didn't seem thrilled about her possibly joining me she wanted to know if I was mad. Of course I'm mad! But I said I was preoccupied and wasn't listening.

Ugh...what will be worse is...if she gets into the class and I don't, I'm going to be pissed the hell off because she doesn't need this class. And she'll most likely complain and complain all semester and I'm just going to want to punch her in the face.

Merlin is My Life

I have many things to write on this rainy Thursday, so I won't be answering any questions today.

1. I've started watching BBC's Merlin on Hulu. It's such an amazing show! When it first came out, I watched the first two episodes but then I forgot about it (I think it was on Sundays and I don't want a lot of television on Sundays). But I've found it again thanks to one of my friends. I'm watching episode 9 of season one right now. I have a feeeling I'll be done with both seasons by the end of next week, maybe earlier. Merlin has taken over my life!

2. Remember that midterm I was worrying about? I got an A-. Awesome right?! And the paper for one of my English classes, another A-. And last but not least, my SCE for my philosophy class, an A+. I'm on a roll right now!

3. I'm not allowing Jane to get to me anymore. I'm really falling the guidelines my counselor has been giving me. I don't want this to be a miserable year. I'm going to enjoy my college career. High school was horrible for me, but I'm going to make college a thousand times better.

4. I'm going home this weekend. I really need a break from Jane and Cathy. And a break from campus. I haven't been home in two months, and my hair shows. Haha, it's starting to get puffy and hard for a comb to get through it. Plus I want to spend time with my mom and lay in my own bed for once. Even though home isn't all sunshine and rainbows 100% of the time, I still miss it.

5. I'm doing NaNoWriMo. I can't remember if I wrote about that. Plus I'm doing a "Poem A Day" so I'm going to be writing a whole bunch this November. Speaking of writing, I submitted poems to my school's literary magazine. I hope I get in this year. The poems I sent, I really like them. It would be great to see if others enjoy them too.

I'm sure there is more that I wanted to write about, but I can't remember anymore. Oh! I'm glad the glee hiatus is over and I can't wait until the 8th. Jane watched the last episode with me on Tuesday. She talks during it and I miss some of the things. I hope she goes to karate next week so she won't be in the room while I'm watching.

I believe that's it for now. Back to Merlin.

Reactions to Glee

Glee Episode Starts





Reaction to seeing Blaine and Kurt:



Reaction to Rory



Reaction to Finn:



Reaction to Puck/Rachel's Mom:



Lastly, reaction to Promo:

Darren Criss as Babar!

Last Friday Night

Four in the afternoon on a Saturday and I haven't started my huge mound of homework. I actually woke up around 12, so I haven't been up for very long. I was/am just so tired from being out last night, 'cause it was a few Halloween Parties!



I had quite a bit of fun. I ended up going to my roommates to Eurotrance. We had less than an hour of fun there though because Jane was taking forever to get ready. Cathy wasn't feeling all that well, so she didn't want to stay long anyway.

Oh! Before Euro, I went to see Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 again. They were showing it on my campus before it comes out on DVD in 13 days! So excited. I'll play that movie over and over again until my DVD player fries.

Back to the parties, so after Eurotrance, we went back to our dorm because I need to grab my wings (I was little Red Riding Hood at Euro, and then the angel form of little Red at the "Heaven or Hell Party") and Jane needed to put on her fox costume. Took her forever! She didn't even have that much to put on but she was like "Oh, I'm not sure I wanna go..I need to go to the bathroom...I don't like this shirt, I'll put this one on..." Gah!

We finally get to the faternity house and I go up the stairs but when I turn around, she's missing. She didn't come inside. I waited a few minutes but I was like, screw it, I want to have fun. If she wants to stand in the cold talking to someone by all means. I met up with some of my friends and we found more of our friends and started dancing. I saw Jane maybe 15 minutes later, finally inside talking to the same dude from outside.

I had a lot of fun with my friends. I danced with one of my guy friends who we all call "Jolee". Not grind-dancing. Just holding hands and moving to the beat. Loads of fun, danced for at least an hour. I normally don't dance enough to sweat, but this time I did. Had fun with the girls too. Watched a bunch of drunk people. I couldn't go downstairs to "Hell" because multiple people puked on or near the stairs. That's alright, I had a great time in "Heaven".

The only regret I have is that I didn't ask this one guy to dance. He had door duty the first hour or so of the party but after that, I saw him popping his head into the dance floor at least 20 times. I finally got the nerve to go up to him but before I could, a couple of guys caught him first and they were rough-housing. So, I chickened out. I'm tempted to tell him I wanted to dance with him that night and that I'd love to hang out, maybe grab some lunch or just study together. Does that sound alright?

I've never talked to him before. We had a class together last year but still no communicating. Do you think I should ask him to a casual get-together?

A Question for Thursday

I'm trying to get back on track on my "Tell Me Something Thursday" idea. Since I don't get any questions from people, I guess I'll just go on google and look at a list of random questions.

**Searching...Searching...Searching...**

What advice would you give to your 16 year old self?

The real question is "What advice would you give yourself three years ago" and I was 16 so here we go. I'd tell myself to stop thinking about him so much. It was over before it began, there's nothing you can do. He was as committed as he said he would be and it's not your fault.

Write more. I know you're writing now but you still have so much free time and you can be using that to get more ahead into your novel.

Be more involved in school. You're going to join more things senior year, but try starting now. You'll find out what you're really interested in, meet more people and probably make better friends. Because we both know that most of the "friends" you have now aren't really your friends.

Get a job outside the daycare. Yeah, it's fun and everything, but you need to step out and try to find a job on your own. You can't rely on mom all the time.

Believe in yourself. You need to gain more confidence. You need to believe that you are worth something, that you're loved, and that you have a purpose in life. Maybe if you believe it now. You'll believe it 3 years in the future.

Vacuum

So we need to vacuum in this room again. And I refuse to do it. I've vacuumed and cleaned this room twice now. It's time for them to do something. Especially because it's Jane that doesn't know how to freakin' eat around here. I watched her as she walked around eating some hard bread, so of course every time she took a bite, huge pieces would hit the floor.

She was eating one of the tacos I bought, dropped lettuce and meat on the carpet. I told her she dropped it. Now, every time she drops food I'm going to tell her about herself.

But like I said. I'm not vacuuming. When I said that we needed to, she's like "Not today. You can vacuum tomorrow."

"Me?!"

"Well, I have to study for my test tomorrow" she said, "That's what I've been doing all day. I can vacuum tomorrow after I get out of class at 6pm."

I don't give a flying hoot what time, as long as it gets done. It's nasty. One of my friends came over and said it herself. I agree with her. I hate walking in here because every time I have to get on my bed I have to check and pull off pieces of hair THAT DO NOT BELONG TO ME off my socks. It's disgusting.

So...one of them needs to vaccum. I'm not doing it.

Oh No

I have a problem with my tuition. Last year my mom and I did it right. I know for sure. We divided the amount by 10 because we had to make 10 payments for the whole year. This year, I did it. I divided by 10, been paying every month, and now all of a sudden I need to pay $1,800 dollars by the end of this month?! If I don't, I can't sign up for classes November 7th.

I don't understand. They said that the bill is for each semester, but that makes no sense. That's not how it was last year and they didn't say anything changed. I did the exact same thing as last year. I don't have all of that right now. I'm about $300 or so short. I know my mom doesn't have that.

If this is the case, I have to pay another $3,000 next semester. I work but I only make $1200 a semester. There's no way I can do this. I'm fucking screwed.

Weekend Over, Paper Finished

End of another weekend. Technically it's Monday right now but the sun is not out! So I'm calling it Sunday. Anywho, I just finished writing that sociology midterm paper that's due Monday, about an hour ago. I'm going to edit it after my english class tomorrow and then print. I still have to read about 70 pages before 11am. Ughh...I don't think I'll be getting much sleep. And I have a 8:30am class?!

I watched so many movies today. It was basically a Tim Burton marathon. I watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Nightmare Before Christmas, Corpse Bride, Coraline, Beetlejuice, and now I'm watching the last Pirates of the Carribean film. So it's a Tim Burton/Johnny Depp Sunday (with a few randoms in there). Have to give a major thanks to ABC Family for this.

Right now, I'm not as stressed as I was for the past week. I'm hoping this weekend will be better. I don't have anymore major papers due. I do have a response paper but that's less than a page. I can do that. I met with my advisor and I have another meeting with him on Tuesday. I need to plan out my schedule for the rest of my college years so we can talk about it. Plus, he was my English professor for poetry last year and I asked him if he wouldn't mind looking at some poems I want to submit for my school's literary magazine. I tried last year but none of mine got in. I gave him the one that makes me cry every time I read it, plus this one I made about my roommates. I will not be submitting that one though. No chance.

I feel like there was more I wanted to write. Oh! I've missed a few Thursdays lately. I know and I'm sorry. The past two weeks have just been crazy. It will change this week. Hmm...well this coming weekend is going to be Halloween weekend so: parties! I'm going to two on Friday, dressed as Little Red Riding Hood at the first and a dead/angel version of Little Red Riding Hood to the "Heaven and Hell Party". It shall be fun. At least I hope.

Midterm Paper

Working on a midterm paper that's due Friday. I really don't want to do this. I rather be watching some of the Korean soap operas that I've been looking at (Playful Kiss and Boys Over Flowers). I bought the Lake House at Walgreens today. I rather watch that right now.

I have to write a 2 page paper for each essay, and I have two essays (yay) for my sociology class. Right now I'm focusing on the globalization aspect of sexual tourism on women and men. Ughh...I'm just not feeling this. I don't want to write it. But it's due in less than 48 hours!

Maybe I'll take a little break now, and continue. I think that's my best option right now.

Tumblr Prom

Just heard about Tumblr Prom. I think it’s a fun idea for people. I probably won’t do it (because no one will ask me! Tears) but that’s fine. It’s a way for everyone to have fun! I don’t understand why some people are being all mean and harsh about it.

Anywho, here’s an old video of Glee guys talking about prom. Enjoy!

Not Again Please

While changing my sheets on my bed, I found a spider.





In my bed! The fucker was under my comforter! I can't sleep now. I can't even lay in it. There's been too many spiders in this room and I can't handle it anymore. I literally cried for an hour after finding it. I texted my roommate Jane and told her (she's not a fan of spiders either but she's not as bad as I am). Her bed is right under mine and she's worried there might be some in her bed. I know there's a web on her suitcase under her bed.

It's gotten ridiculous. I'm probably going to tell the RA in the morning because I can't live like this....In my bed! How long had it been in there?! I had been laying in my bed all day today! What if I hadn't changed my sheets tonight and waited until the morning...I would have been sleeping with that thing!

I'm not going to sleep. I can't. I just can't. If there's anyone else up, please help keep me awake. I'm probably going to watch comedy central and glee DVDs all night. Wish me luck!

Writing Today

I've written something today that has me crying every time I read it. A poem I guess. At least, I call it a poem. Maybe not. It's just my thoughts down on a piece of paper. I don't really know. All I know is, I never thought this is what I felt all this time. I just sat and wrote what was on my mind and...I really don't know what to say. But I'm afraid to share it with anyone. Even here. I'm just so confused right now.

Awesome Weekend Coming Up!

I was going to make another post about how annoying Jane is being at the moment BUT....She's going home this weekend! Thursday afternoon to be exact. And then Cathy is going home on Friday so I'll have the room to myself for an awesome weekend!

Fed Up Some More

I'm glad that I found out that I did that stupid philosophy layout wrong. That means you got it wrong too, since you copied everything I wrote. She didn't even read the article. She just asked what I wrote and tried to rewrite it in her own words.

And they finally cleaned!



Thank you Cheesus! They only cleaned their crap because Janet's friends are coming this weekend. And they keep saying they need a vaccumm because the floor is gross. Yes, yes it is. Who's fault is that? The art major who leaves scraps of paper everywhere (Cathy) and the lazy bio/pre-pharmacy major who doesn't know how to eat properly (Jane). Yeah that's right!

I have pictures of how it looked before. If you wanna see, let me know by sending a message or liking my post. I don't mind sharing. It's ridiculous. There's still rotting apples in front of me and an old napkin with this wrapper from bred Jane ate a week ago, sitting in front of me. I refuse to clean it. And I refuse to get the vaccumm again. They both really don't want to do anything and I'm not going to be their maid.

I refuse.

Do Your Own Work

She says that I wasn't alright today. My roommate I mean. Of course I wasn't. You've been bugging the hell out of me about this assignment that we need to do (not a partner project. Separate assignments that we both have because we have the same class but at a different time).

She keeps saying, "Hey let me know when you're working on it so we can work together."

and, "I find this homework pointless. I need to study for organic chemistry, so we should work together so we can get this done faster."

Then you want to "work together" when you haven't even read the required pages to fucking do the assignment. I think not. I told her to go read it. I guess that was her first sign that I wasn't doing okay.

I come back from a poetry slam (awesome by the way. With special guest Tim Stafford. Look him up on youtube/google) and go back to working. Here she comes again.

"I worked on it but I still have no idea what to do. Have you worked on it?"
"Yeah," I said, "I think I'm about done."

"Oh, can you look over mine and see if it's right."

"I don't know. I'm not even sure mine is right." I said.

"That's okay. I'd just like it if you read over mine. Tell me what's wrong."

I blew it. I told her I can't fix hers if I can't fix my own. I didn't swear or anything. My voice elevated. She asked if I was okay. No I'm not okay. Everytime we have these assignments, you basically try to make me do the whole damn thing. I don't need nor want to be used.

But I didn't say that. I told her I had a headache.

You're Joking Right?

I was on the phone with my mom when I decided to wash my sweaters/hoodies and I said, out loud, "Gonna go check to see if the washers are open". Then I left my dorm room, leaving my two roommates inside. I go to the basement and find all three are open. I'm happy because I just want to use two and hang my clothes to dry. When I'm walking back, I see one of my roommates walking towards me, I wave and continue talking to my mom.

I enter the room, grab my sweaters and just as I'm about to leave, she returns and says "They're all free!" Why do I see them both going into their wardrobs and grab their completely-full-overflowing-don't-you-wash-more-than-once-a-month laundry baskets and start separting their clothes.

"Umm...I'm going to need one too." I say. They look at me funny. And then one says:

"One of us needs to go down there to make sure no one else grabs the washers."

I volunteered because one, I was already ready. And two, I wasn't going to let them take the washers from me. I decided to be nice and just use one. I put my clothes in, wait until their slow asses come downstairs and go back to the room. I'm still on the phone with my mom (she heard me complain while I was in the basement).

I'm sitting in front of my laptop, just got off the phone with her when one of them comes in and says:

"You can use the washer when we're done."

....What?

"I'm already using one. When those stop, I'll put my other load in." I said.

"Oh I didn't know who's clothes those were."

Really...Why do you think I went down there for? Do you think I went to save the washers for you?! What the hell...

Need To Express Myself

I think I missed a Thursday and that's because this week has been chaotic. I'm so happy it's Friday, well when I'm done writing it will technically be Saturday morning.

I didn't get to mention that I have an appointment to see a counselor this coming Tuesday. I think I just need someone to talk to. I'm not sure if it's my roommates anymore. Maybe I'm overwhelmed or maybe there's something wrong. There's the possibility that it's a combination of all three. I don't know and that's why I'm going to talk to someone. My mom agrees. She's the one who said I should at least get some advice on how to deal with all the negativity that my roommates have on a daily basis. Hopefully this will help me and I'll be able to have a better year.

Writing on here has helped. It gives me a chance to unwind and let off some steam, but I can't be as open as I really want. I had another blog, but a few friends found it so I had to make this one. I'm afraid they'll find it again. That's why I'm using a penname and aliases for everyone I mention on here. But I'm always worried that one of them will find it. I don't want them reading my personal thoughts. My tumblr and this blog have basically become my diary but a diary that I allow strangers to read and comment on. Not people I know in real life.

Does anyone else get what I'm saying? It's easier to talk to strangers than people you know.

Well, I'm actually at work right now. I work in my residential hall as a desk aide. I don't really do anything. I was actually watching a Korean soap opera before I came on here. I think I'll watch another episode. Until next time.

Friday and Saturday Night

I've had an up-and-down weekend so far. Most of it was good, but the one bad "situation" sort of brought everything down a little. This weekend, I decided to go out and party with friends. I don't drink or anything. I just go out and dance the night away.

Friday night I went to a Frat party with three of my friends. It was a lot of fun. We stayed out until about 2:30am just dancing. This random guy I didn't know tried dancing with me and I wasn't for it so I moved away from him. Then he tried to get one of my friends to dance and she doesn't do "dancing" (she was mostly there to get out of her room. She moved a little. Not a lot. But it was progress). Then he tried to join our inner circle and that was kicking one of my other friends out of the circle, so we moved away from him.

Then another random guy came up, asked for our names and said "I bet I can dance better than all of you". Did some strange moves and then left. We started laughing afterwards. No idea where that came from.
That was a good night. Last night was an &quot;ehh&quot;. I went to a party with the same friends plus a few more and one of my roommates. Earlier I had been hanging out at my Hall's desk with one of my guy friends/my crush (in a way). I was there for about 75% of his 4 hour shift. We talked, laughed, looked at videos. It was great. I tried convincing him to come to this party with my friends and I. He was iffy and I was pretty sure he wasn't going.

Yet, when Nathalie and Melinda asked him to go, he was all for it. It pisses me off a bit. He basically followed Nathalie around everywhere. I feel like he likes her and it's a lost cause. Well, not really. She has a boyfriend but that didn't stop her before. She basically had another one of my guy friends wrapped around her finger last year. I don't have all the full details but I know they didn't have sex. They got close to it though. Then she told her boyfriend and made it seem like my friend was at fault. Caused some drama last year. They don't talk now (for obvious reasons).

Now, she has him (my &quot;crush&quot;) wrapped around her finger. And I'm angry. I don't understand how she's allowing this to happen. AGAIN! And it's not like I can say anything. What am I supposed to do? Anywho, they came to this other Frat party with us. Nathalie and Melinda went straight for the Jungle Juice (alcoholic drink if you don't know). They got buzzed and then wanted to leave for another Frat party. They leave (Melinda, Nathalie, my "crush", and the girl who doesn't really dance, Angie) and the rest of us stay and have a good time for a bit before joining them at the other Frat.

We get there, not even 10 minutes in, the fire alarm is pulled. So, back to the original party we go. We head inside, of course Mel and Nathalie head to the booze again but they ran out. So now they don't want to be there, they want to head somewhere else. That same group leaves, leaving me with the other two friends from Friday night and my roommate. We had fun. Danced and whatnot. My roommate danced with her crush the whole night, for 3 and a half hours (craziness!). I'm happy for her. She didn't want to come out at first but I convinced her. I'm glad I did she had a great time.

I just wish...I had a fun time with my "crush" but what can I do? I think I'm just going to get over it.

Eh..Thursday Again?

Alright. Another Tell Me Something Thursday...However, I didn't/don't really have time to write something right now.



I was going to give my comment on the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell (which I'm like "Finally!! What took you guys so long? And why have it in the first place?!) but I figured a lot of people talked about that so...I was hoping someone would leave me an idea for what you want me to talk about. It can be anything. If you have questions for me, you know, want to get to know me..Let me know! I'll gladly tell you a little about myself. Until next time, tata for now!